Top Ten Things Maradona Said During His FIFA Hearing Today

November 15th, 2009 | by: Dave Martinez | View Comments

Ah, to be a fly on the wall.

Diego Armando Maradona, coach of the Argentine National team, and all around deity, graced FIFA’s Zurich based home to answer questions on his media outburst nearly one month ago. In typical Maradona fashion, he arrived 50 minutes late to his scheduled hearing, with an envoy of limousines following him, wearing a track suit and sunglasses.

Class.

While we await an official statement from FIFA, why not speculate on what was said this meeting?

Here are the Top Ten Things Maradona Said During His FIFA Hearing Today:

#10 – Am I late guys?

#9 – Why am I here again?

#8 – Fidel Castro made me do it!

#7 – Where is Claudio Caniggia? I could use a kiss right about now . . .

#6 – What? No empanadas?

#5 – I know you called me in to get the in person view of my belly flop celebration against Peru . . . make room boys, ‘cuz her I come!

#4 – No, no, no. These sunglasses aren’t a fashion statement. Not even I can stand to watch the mess I have created with the National team!

#3 – There is a conspiracy here; Bilardo told me all the reporters were given lolly pops prior to the presser, and that is why I told them all to suck it!

#2 – I am better than Pele.

And the #1 thing Maradona said yesterday is . . . .

#1 – Cocaine is one hell of a drug.

UPDATE: FIFA’s decision is in, and Diego Maradona has been banned for two months (Nov. 15 to Jan. 15 2010) and fined 25,000 Swiss Francs.