Mexico Can’t Win in the US. Call in the Psychologists

The Mexican National Team has not won in the US in this decade. Most people I talk to agree that Mexico plays better. Meaning prettier. Meaning if there were style points, there would be no contest. Mexico would win it all. Unfortunately what counts in futbol is getting the ball into the net, and in the past few years the US is doing more of that.

What do you think this means? Coaching change? Player shakeup? Better training?

Nope. It means “bring in the psychologists and let’s analyze this.”

The best part of this? My source article is in Spanish, which means I get to share with you the magic of Babelfish, the online translations system that requires a second translator to understand. (I love Babelfish, because it gives me an excuse to drink large quantities of alcohol early in the morning, since it’s impossible to understand these “translations” sober.)

So go pour yourself a drink and then we’ll proceed.

Okay, are we ready?

Photos EU follows without losing in house before Mexico In declarations to Efe, González talked about to an historical complex assumption of the Mexicans with respect to the United States, according to which they see the neighboring nation as the old Aztecs saw the Quetzálcoatl, symbol of being able supreme. “Somos a town conquered and therefore little valued before our own eyes; we see conquered foreign people and we assumed our roll of, something that the player experiences at level inconsciente”, it indicated the psychologist.

Ummm…yeah. Right, then.

How about if we go to my original source instead, Alejandro over at Macrochip for a real translation and a little analysis?

“We’re a conquered country with little value in our eyes; in the presence of foreigners we assume the role of the conquered. It is something that the players experience unconsciously.”

Honestly, this explains so much about why “Bofo” dies his hair blond and why Rafa Marquez loves to play in Spain, but how does this help Mexico win? At least now they’ll know that dudes who start crying when they see a foreigner should immediately be cut.

That does sound like the simplest solution.

For a bit more about the US-Mexico rivalry, which is intense, check out this video:

This includes that Landon Donovan Jalisco incident. (Don’t worry, sensitive viewers. The stream is pixelated.)

(Note to my husband and kids: I’m kidding about the alcohol in the morning thing. As far as you know.)