International Breaks Hurt, Particularly Italians.

September 8th, 2008 | by: chris | Comments(9)

The return of Marcello Lippi could hardly be going any worse. After the draw against Austria – and by draw I mean loss – where Austria scored four, two just happened to be welcome back gifts for Lippi in their own net, it took the heroics of Antonio Di Natale and a dance line of three to score a beauty of a goal in the 92nd minute to fell the giants from Cyprus. So a win equals a loss, once again.

But that’s not the drastic part. Many teams (ahem, France & Romania) were garbage and the entire World Cup Qualifying scoreboard screamed “early season form”. Chances are many of these disappointing results will look vastly different when mid-October comes rolling around. So there is hope for many teams in that respect, not just the reigning champions.

The drastic part comes when talking about the emergency ward which has become Coverciano (or Gorizia, wherever they happen to be right now):

Alessandro Gamberini: Dislocated shoulder in the first minute of the match, out for three weeks at best, seemingly.

Fabio Grosso: Fractured rib in the 15th minute, out for a month. Forced Lippi to use his second sub before most on the pitch had even broken a sweat.

Alberto Gilardino: Injured in the head. The FIGC should just petition FIFA to allow him to wear a Parma jersey during Azzurri games. It’s the only option left. (He’s not really injured, has just appeared that way for the last 2 years.)

Gennaro Gattuso: And an injury report for the ages:

The Italy international was operated on after falling into a hole between the two dugouts in a training game against fourth division Itala San Marco’s youth team, injuring his head and left wrist.

Upon waking up from his operation, Gennaro produced this warning:

‘I am very close to these colours. I will make war against anyone who tries to stop me from playing in the national team.’

And that’s when he’s sedated. Seriously, is there a better quote in the modern game than Gattuso? Doubtful.

All this while Giorgio Chiellini is still recuperating from his knee surgery and after Fabio Cannavaro played in his first game since his own surgery – due to an injury caused by Chiellini, karma’s a bitch – against Cyrpus. Things have become so dire they’ve even unearthed evidence of Andrea Pirlo trying to make a tackle. So if you’re Italian(ish), can possibly take someone off the ball (yes, that excludes Grosso, but still) and are free Wednesday evening ’round 1800 CET, please fax a resume and shirt size to Coverciano, c/o Marcello Lippi.