Fabio Capello Given A Lesson In The Pre-Game Speech.

March 13th, 2009 | by: chris | View Comments

Daryl already posted this on England WCB this morning, but it’s of such calibre it undoubtedly deserves a ‘global’ audience. Brief explanation:

It’s Red Nose Day in England (OK, Britain) where comedy and charity collide and the big names of the day happily make fools of themselves for Comic Relief in a big effort to raise money. One of the big draws this year is James Corden (of Gavin & Stacy fame) giving a lecture to the England team.

Few questions I have though:

i. Had this been rehearsed going in? Did the English players know what was going to be said or was this more of an impromptu ‘roast’? (Not that kind, Frank & Rio.)

Because if so, kudos to most of the England players for being able to keep a straight face. Except for you, Crouchie. You’ve been told you’re rubbish too many times not to play it off.

ii. While we’re marginally on-topic…what ever happened to Kieron Dyer?

iii. Is Lampard about to cry when Steven Gerrard’s name is brought up?

iv. How does JT’s wife let him leave the house with hair like that?

v. Was there a 20-cap requirement to be roasted? How did Carrick get off scot-free? Did Fergie phone in a request to get him out of international duties? (You’ll notice Rooney is absent. Mmm hmm.)

And finally…how the hell did six misses result in just a head in Hangman? Are there English rules to which I haven’t been made privy? Is there a professional footballers’ handicap?

I need answers.

But really, the whole thing is brilliant and Fabio Capello would do well to learn a thing or two – particularly how to speak in an Essex accent.