Another Day, Another Slew of Failed African Age Tests

Last time we checked in, the Nigerian U17 team picture, or so it seemed, was found to be above the age of eligibility before the U17 World Cup which is being hosted by the slightly humiliated nation of Nigeria. No one was naive enough to think it’d be the first, no one was naive enough to think it would be the last. And it wasn’t.

But this one gets a bit dicier as it’s Gambia with the failed age tests for their U17 team. The same U17 team which won the African U17 championship earlier this year. Is that legal trouble wafting through?

The Gambian FA have copped to the cheating, intentional or not, and have admitted that the team which took home the title in Algeria featured those who are already proud grandparents. They’re saying “two or three”, just as anyone would with their slightly wrinkled hand caught in the cookie jar, but we’re saying “bullshit”.

A total of 51 Gambian youngsters underwent MRI scans in Senegal to help determine their ages ahead of the upcoming Under-17 World Cup in Nigeria.

“Very few of the players failed the test,” Kinteh insisted.

When asked if any of those who had failed the test had played at the African Under-17 Championship in Algeria he replied: “Yes, I’d need to check, but it can’t be more than two or three.”

I’m sure it “can be more” and that these are the words of a hopeful/voluntarily ignorant federation chief. Regardless of the number, even fielding one ineligible player is enough to revoke most titles. Unless, of course, the Africans powers that be just say “fuck it, every team probably had someone overage”. That would be met with approval and applause – call a spade a spade, at least.

For the future, Sepp & Co. have put these random age testings in place, so the buildup to Nigeria 2009 may be even more exciting than the tournament itself. Perhaps they can just film the age tests instead? They could even make a reality tv show of it, where the testee stands before a tribunal and, if the tests ring true, he is waved into one door with plush couches and footballs and age-appropriate toys. If not, he is led down a dark hallway into a colosseum-like arena with snarling lions with manes like Trump’s toupee ready to declare his sentence.

But for now, in this the real world, the Gambian FA may want to put some military-grade locks on that trophy cabinet at headquarters, for the only thing scarier than snarling tigers is the trophy repo man. And he’s a-comin’.

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