The World Cup Blog Accountability Brackets (With Bonus Podcast)

June 10th, 2010 | by: chris | View Comments

At various times during this competition you will hear from Daryl and myself “just as I predicted”, “told ya so” and “nanner nanner nanner” as we ride around WCB Global Headquarters on our imaginary horse using whatever shirt we may or may not be wearing as our imaginary lasso. Well, not entirely true: ‘ At various times’ should read ‘On the impossibly unlikely rare occasion we get something right’.

Some call them predictions, we’ll call them accountability brackets. At any rate, they’ll prevent us from making predictions after the event has already happened.

We’ll save that for Andy Gray.

chris:

I did everything possible short of hiring a voodoo master or Jean-Claude Van Damme (high leg kick) to stop myself from predicting Brazil v Spain – even after Pele said it (no one’s fault but my own, I know) – but each various road and boulevard breaks down that way. I can’t be at fault for that, right? (Maybe.)

I like Serbia. A lot of people I know like Serbia. I also like Germany. There’s a trend here, can you spot it? Teams that pull from tough groups, and I think Group D is the toughest even without Essien leading the Black Star supernova, have a tremendous advantage in preparation which suits well for the next round. Conversely as an Italy fan I was a bit devastated when they drew the two long straws taped together – also known as Group F. They’ll still draw Spain, because old acquaintances are destined to be renewed somehow, and once again they will lose.

Thus there is Spain, whom I was initially predicting to do poorly. Many, many people seem to forget they’d won a European Championships before, back in the swingin’ 60’s, so their curse lies solely in the World Cup realm. Of course then I saw that goal from Planet España against Poland and immediately put them in the final shortly before trademarking my first born: Xavi David David Iniestia Silva Hernandez. (He’ll be brilliantly technical and adored by the masses, yet still won’t be able to get on the amusement park rides. Tragic.)

But ultimately I think a South American dynamo will take his team upon his back, as he’s been known to do for club in the past, and chauffeur them to the promised land: Ricardo Izecson dos Santos Leite. Better known as Kaka. He and Brazil will be too strong, too solid, too good. And then Robinho will get his sex.

Round of 16:
France v South Korea – France
England v Germany – Germany
Netherlands v Slovakia – Netherlands
Brazil v Chile – Brazil
Argentina v South Africa – Argentina
Serbia v USA – Serbia
Italy v Cameroon – Italy
Spain v Portugal – Spain

Quarterfinal teams:

Germany v France – Germany
Netherlands v Brazil – Brazil
Argentina v Serbia – Serbia
Italy v Spain – Spain

Semifinal teams:

Germany v Brazil
Serbia v Spain

Finalists: Brazil, Spain

Winner: Brazil. (2-1, Ricky double.)

Daryl:

If you only know one thing about me, know this: I’m a coward. I’m terrified of predictions, mostly because history has shown me I have a very very high chance of being wrong. I’ve had a team of statisticians study me, and they found that my predicting something results in a tangible decrease in the probability of that event taking place.

So rather than do a bracket by myself, I’ve attempted to share the blame with three other people. Below you’ll find a podcast recorded with my three Total Football Soccer Show co-hosts, in which the four of us sit down with the World Cup Blog Bracket and argue until we come up with a bracket by consensus. Click play below to listen:

You can find more episodes of the show via iTunes.

Here’s how that bracket looks:

Round of 16:
Mexico v Nigeria – Mexico
England v Serbia – England
Netherlands v Paraguay – Netherlands
Brazil vs Chile – Brazil
Argentina v France – Argentina
Germany v USA – USA (somehow)
Italy vs Cameroon – Italy
Spain v Portugal – Spain

Quarterfinal teams:
England v Mexico – England (on pens)
Brazil v Netherlands – Brazil
Argentina v USA – Argentina
Cameroon v Spain – Spain

Semifinal teams:
England v Brazil – Brazil
Argentina v Spain – Argentina

Finalists: Brazil, Argentina

Winner: Brazil.

To be clear those aren’t my picks. Unless they turn out to be accurate, in which case they’re definitely my picks.

You’ve still got time to enter your own picks into the World Cup Bracket competition, but you’ll need to hurry.