The World Cup Awards: Quarterfinals

July 4th, 2010 | by: chris | Comments (5)

Team of the Quarters: Germany. A more difficult call to make than it’d seem since it was tantamount to shooting fish in the barrel, but ultimately Brazil shooting itself in the foot wasn’t enough for the Dutch to tip the scales.

Jogi won’t be receiving Christmas gifts for the next ten years after receiving Argentina on a silver platter from Diego, but they were still clinically impressive and did exactly as they should have. It’s just a shame the Argentina staff didn’t watch any tape – of themselves or of Germany.

Player of the Quarters: Bastian Schweinsteiger. Lesson learned: don’t mock Bastian.

They Are Who We Thought They Were Award: Argentina. Great attack, no midfield, poor defense, poor keeper, joke of a coach. (Alright, maybe Romero was just “untested”.)

Who called that pre-World Cup outside of everybody? Pick up your cookies on the way out.

The Gary Lineker Award: Love Wikipedia.

Melo has a son called Lineker, who he named after the English centre forward Gary Lineker.

But ironically, Lineker couldn’t get Felipe’s name right in his definitive guide to the 2010 World Cup. On page 26 of his glossy guide to the tournament, he called the Juventus midfielder “Fernando Melo”.

Quote: It is the Daily Mail and, as noted previously, they have zero legitimacy – but it doesn’t make it any less funny. On Cristiano’s baby:

If indeed the news is true, it’s not known whether the Portuguese star had a fling with the woman in question or whether she had the child through a ‘Ricky Martin’-style arrangement.

Which ’she’ are they talking about?

This Is Why You Don’t Get Called Up Award: Somewhere, Adriano is jealous.

Welcome To The World Cup, Kid: For most, this is simply a quadrennial exercise in weeping. Welcome to the club.

Love Conquers All Award: Well, until he’s sleeping on the couch.

Fan: I count no less than three Ghana flag paintings. This could be a World Cup record.

Quarterfinal Matchup: A six woman royal rumble. Pick at your peril.

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