The Summer’s Biggest Transfer Target: Paul the Octopus.

July 16th, 2010 | by: chris | Comments (5)

What, you thought he was done? Never. Paul is in demand; hell, Paul is demand.

In a move befitting their footballing counterparts, the Madrid zoo has inquired about Paul’s services and launched a transfer saga of Jules Verne-esque proportions. Florentino Perez was reportedly overheard yelling “we must have that octopus!” during the final celebrations, and fired six people who tried to bring him takoyaki.

Their promises sound like a retread of the recruiting campaign aimed at Cristiano Ronaldo last summer, right down to the “best attention” and being “one of the most loved and charismatic animals of the Madrid Zoo”. (He moonlights.)

“The zoo also guarantees that Paul will receive the best attention, reflecting the great affection in which he is held by all the Spanish people since he predicted that the Spanish team would win the football World Cup,” said Madrid zoo spokeswoman Amparo Fernandez. “We hope that within the next few days we will be able to confirm news that the admirable Paul will be part of the club of the most loved and charismatic animals of the Madrid Zoo.”

Knowing just how transfer negotiations to Madrid are supposed to pan out, the Oberhauseen zoo which currently holds the rights to Paul are playing the game and have declared emphatically Paul is not for sale – at any price. Which of course he is, because they saw how much Kaka nabbed last summer, but they can’t tell that to Madrid.

“We are not in contact with Madrid Zoo. And we know nothing about swapping Paul for another animal or him going to Madrid Zoo for a transfer sum,” Sea Life spokeswoman Tanja Munzig said.

Expect a shady midnight meeting involving Jose Mourinho in which he promises him a 150% wage hike as well as to ‘love him long time’. Meanwhile, rumor has it Real will be throwing in Fernando Gago as part of their next offer – he looks like a squid anyway.

Keep it here for As Paul’s World Turns.