Life’s A Beach With The Jabulani

May 31st, 2010 | by: chris | View Comments

Everybody knows tournament preparations haven’t officially begun until a handful of goalkeepers threaten to storm the compound, whichever compound, unless the Big Tournament Ball is replaced with something which doesn’t fly like a balsa wood plane. Recently, a few keepers would whisper fling daggers, luring the Grand Poobah of goalkeeper criticism, Jens Lehamm, from his cave to throw down the Mad Jens kibosh.

Whenever a legend passes on, it often takes a village to carry on, so it seems the entirety of World Cup squads have banded together to decry the plastic beach ball which is shaking the foundation of the World Cup.

The squads have yet to be announced in total (tomorrow officially) and yet it seems every player this side of Pluto has taken a shot at the Jabulani, as though kicking it while it’s down just isn’t enough. It’s a practice typically reserved for the keepers, too, but even though the world’s keepers have done their glove-wearin’ duties – including the very best in the world: Gianluigi Buffon, Iker Casillas, Marcus Hahnemann – it’s the field players who are chiming in.

Brazil has been in South Africa since Thursday and [Julio] Cesar described the World Cup balls as “terrible,” comparing them with cheap ones bought in a supermarket. Casillas said the balls were “in an appalling condition.”

Field players have been critical too. Brazil striker Luis Fabiano described the ball as “weird” and suddenly changing trajectory and Italy’s Giampaolo Pazzini said it was “a disaster.”

“It moves so much and makes it difficult to control,” the Italian striker said. “You jump up to head a cross and suddenly the ball will move and you miss it.”

And more….

“It’s a bit like a beachball,” the Spain captain was quoted as telling Spanish media Sunday, the day after the friendly in Innsbruck, Austria. He went on to describe the unpredictable movement of the ball. “Now it isn’t only the goalkeepers (complaining) it is the outfield players as well. It’s sad that a competition as important as a World Cup has an element as vital as the ball with such abysmal characteristics.”

Italy goalkeeper Gianluigi Buffon joined the chorus of disapproval.

“The new model is absolutely inadequate and I believe it is shameful to play such an important competition, where so many champions are taking part, with a ball like that,” the 2006 World Cup winner told his website (www.gianluigibuffon.com).

The criticism has become so bad Adidas has been forced to deviate from their normal methods of dealing with disturbances – sitting back and counting the money one by one – to making press releases and throwing low blows back at the national federations:

“On top of that, we have distributed it to all the finalists so that they have been able to get used to the ball. Apparently they have not taken advantage of that if we are only hearing this criticism now. I am quite surprised in these circumstances.”

While it’s become something of an biannual tradition (Euros were fun too), it does get a bit much to hear just how rubbish the balls are every single tournament. Thus maybe it’s time they formed a committee of goalkeepers to oversee the ball creation process.

Problem solved.