Winners and Losers of the World Cup Week

Even though we know that time is a fixed and constant concept, the past week seemed to move by quicker than most. Perhaps our concept of time is becoming distorted as we inch closer to the start of the World Cup or perhaps it was the stories of sex, hooligans and lawsuits that made for such an enjoyable week. Actually there is really only one reason the past seven days have seemed liked seven minutes: the beer belly. It has changed our outlook on life. If you are the wagering type, you have to bet that the greatest invention in the history of inventions will be placed in the winners column of this week’s report card.

Winners

Maradona: His nightmare is our delight. It is great to see the tattoos and ‘fro come out before the World Cup.

Luis Paulo: He wins the prize for coming up with the best name for the stadium in Munich, which henceforth will be known as the Blatterdome.

The Oldest Ball: Forget golden balls, the final this year needs a square shaped pig’s bladder.

Jump Roping: We can never watch the dramatic finish to the 2005 national championships too many times.

Zizou: The great one gives it one last go in Germany.

Beer Belly: Simply awesome

Losers

Evil spirits: You got your asses kicked

FIFA: You got your ass kicked in court this week and it is only going to get worse.

Costa Rica: Look out for the ache down below.

Streakers: Better find a handy place to carry your wallet.