Winners and Losers of the World Cup Week

March 31st, 2006 | by: WC Bob | Comments Off

The past week certainly didn’t lack for action both on and off the pitch. We saw a number of World Cup teams take part in friendlies. We learned the names of the referees who will be blowing calls during the tournament. We gained insight into why Brazil is so good at football and why its players and their significant others will be able to smile this summer in Germany. We brought your stories of voodoo, started an All-Ugly players team and presented you with some great memories from past World Cups. All in all, not a bad week in this little corner of cyberspace. To help you keep track of it all, here are the week’s winners and losers.

Winners

Sex – If the coach of the top-ranked team says it is ok to partake in intercourse the night before the match than who are we to argue with that?

Benin – The country may never make it to a World Cup, but referee Coffi Codjia will be living large this summer.

Memories – There are some things from the past you just can’t escape. Like the time when I was living in Kazakhstan and I screwed up one of my Russian verbs and told my friend’s grandmother that I hadn’t masturbated much lately when really I meant to say I hadn’t lost much weight lately. Fortunately our bloggers have much more pleasant memories from past World Cups.

Retirees – They might have one foot out the door, but some of the players that are making their swansongs in Germany still deserve our love and affection.

Urinals – You can have fun in the loo even when you need to get out of bed at three in the morning to take care of nature’s business.

Communism – Croatia might have become an independent country a few years back but you would never know that if you read the official World Cup handbook.

Losers

Beautfiul Players – You have no chance of making our All-Ugly World Cup Starting XI.

FIFA Regime Change – Like a bad rash, Sepp Blatter just won’t go away.

Your Enemies – It is going to be very tough for some players to overcome voodoo spells this summer. Are you listening to me, Mr Beckham? [evil laughter]

Meaningful Friendlies – If the three games this week are any indication, the exhibition games the next few months might not be the most spectacular works of beauty.