The World According to Sepp

FIFA Grand Pooh-ba Sepp Blatter had himself a grand time today, waxing eloquently on issues ranging from racism to gambling to England’s coaching search. Let’s start with his thoughts about racism at the World Cup. Last week His Holiness suggested that teams would be deducted three points if their fans exhibited racist actions. You’ll recall that Blatter said, “At the first sign of racism there will be a deduction of three points, then we are finished with problems of discrimination.”

Today, the Seppster had an entirely different take on the matter:

“Coming to the specific question of the World Cup, yes if it it’s on the field of play, yes if it’s on the technical bench or identified around the football pitch,” he said at FIFA headquarters in Zurich. “But, when it comes to the World Cup public, you have an international audience and you don’t know where they are sitting.

“How do you then identify if someone will be or won’t be in favor or against (a team)?”

A very legitimate question that Sepp probably should have asked himself before opening his trap last week. From our point of view, FIFA looks weak on this issue even when it is trying to appear tough. He has answered our question.

Moving on to gambling, Blatter said today that the World Cup referees will be asked to sign a piece of paper that states they and their families will not be involved in any gambling. This is similar to what FIFA is requiring its players to sign. What happens if the referees don’t behave properly?

“If any one of them behaves badly at all, he will be dealt with immediately and sent away to another level,” Blatter said.

We have no earthly idea what this means, but it sounds Dick Cheney-like. We’re sure that referee from Benin is crapping his pants right about now. Can you imagine being sent to a level lower than calling games in Benin? Perhaps calling games in Mali, but that is worthy of a debate.

Finally, Blatter decided to weigh in on who he thinks should coach England. Apparently this is within his job duties. His thoughts on the matter: England shouldn’t hire one of those foreign people with those funny accents. Nationalism, baby; it’s all about nationalism.

“I am very surprised that England changed this way and are considering it again. I don’t think it has happened in other countries like Germany, Italy, Spain, Brazil and Argentina.

“My personal opinion, and I was once a coach, is that when you speak to your players - and in a national team they are all one nationality - you should speak their language. This is the first thing in order to motivate a national team.”

Now you can see why World Cup Blog has endorsed Sepp Blatter for President in 2007.