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Say it ain’t so. Not all World Cup injuries are real!

   

In what can only be described as a shocking, earth shattering new study, it has been revealed that not all those players you see writhing on the ground in pain during the World Cup are, in fact, in pain. According to Dr. Jiri Dvorak, the head of FIFA’s medical committee, of the 156 on-pitch treatments in the first 62 matches, 88 were not noted in postgame reports submitted by the team medical staffs.

“We have too much of this,” Dvorak said. “It’s something we need to look into.”

One theory that Dr. Dvorak should look into is that the players and medical staffs are in cahoots with the makers of magic spray. The ozone-depleting stuff has been abused more at this World Cup than the Serbia and Montenegro goalkeeper.

For those scoring at home, and if you are you should consider getting a life, on average medics have tended to 2.2 players per match this World Cup, compared to 2.7 in 2002 and 2.4 in 1998.


  • Christopher Johnson

    Petition

    I have just read and signed the online petition: “FIFA World Cup: Flopping Penalty and Concurrent Replay” hosted on the web by PetitionOnline.com at:

    http://www.PetitionOnline.com/fifaexec/

    I personally agree with what this petition says, and I think you might agree, too. If you can spare a moment, please take a look, and consider signing yourself.

  • Steven

    What do they mean when they say that the injuries were not noted in post-game reports? Is it a requirement that all injuries have to be reported? What if, for example, a player is kicked in the thigh and it hurts at the time (and they bust out the magic spray or whatever), but there is no real injury, it’s just a pain that subsides…is that supposed to be reported too? If so, that means over half the injuries are faked!

  • Bruce Buck

    If you watch North American sports, you’ll notice the unwritten rule that it’s unacceptable for a professional athlete to writhe around like a two year old in response to a minor injury. It’s even worse if the unmanly overacting is entirely fictional. The dramatics are perhaps one reason most North Americans could care less about soccer.

  • Claude

    The Italiens were lying all over the pitch when they played Germany. One would get up to be replaced by another Italien lying on the ground in sheer agony. I wonder what the injury stats would be if we took Italy out of the stats? The last Italien who wasn’t a whimp was probably Julius Caesar.

  • Tuan

    Christopher, thank you for the link, I have signed the petition and urge all football lovers to put your names down for the good of the game.

  • Hmmm

    And people dare to blame Portugal? Im not surprised if even FIFA takes the chance to use their team as scape goat for some bad decisions. EVERY team fakes/dives/cheats, and only the ones that cant face it blame a team that is considered “inferior”. At least those dont fake injuries to waste time.

  • Hmmm

    And i hope FIFA noties that kind of petitions, the sooner they end with all those fakes, the sooner some countries will run out of excuses for their losses inside the stadium.

    /me signed.

  • Allez France

    The Italians are the best on their back…. France, stomp ‘em into the ground if they don’t get up.

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