Red and Yellow Cards of the World Cup Week
If the headlines from this past week are an indication of things to come, this summer’s World Cup is going to be full of weirdly wonderful stories. While some might choose to celebrate the glory of the world’s greatest sporting event, World Cup Blog feels compelled to issue yellow and red cards to those who deserve public shame and humiliation.
Red card to anyone who buys one of the five books Wayne Rooney is going to write about his own long and storied life. Having lived on this planet for a full two decades, there is no doubt that Rooney has many words of wisdom to share, but if you are looking for something intellectually stimulating you are better off having a conversation with your pet rock.
Yellow card to the dietary habits of Japan’s players. If you are afraid of a little mad cow while eating in the United States, you will be in for a long, hungry summer when you visit Germany’s dining establishments. In Kaiserslauten, for example, Saumagen (pig stomach stuffed with potatoes) and Pferdwurst (horsemeat sausage) are the definitive delicacies of the region. Everyone knows that pigs are much madder than cows.
Yellow card to coaches that pick their squads using astrology or who use hypnosis as part of their training regimes. That is so 1974 New Age.
Red card to World Cup theme songs and football anthems. Unless there is a way to incorporate The Scorpions or David Hasselhoff into the World Cup, we don’t want to hear crappy techno-opera music or nationalistic nonsense.
Yellow card to those who say all African football federations are a mess. It was a very nice gesture for the federation in Ivory Coast to give its players houses when they qualified for the World Cup.
Yellow card to Australia. It is always good to plan ahead but putting in a bid to host the 2018 World Cup with the hopes it will be rejected so you can host in 2022 leads one to believe that the shrinking ozone layer over the continent is starting to take its toll on the country’s ability to think logically.
Yellow card to moviegoers this summer. Don’t expect any good movies to come out during the World Cup. Now you’ll have no reason not to stay home and watch Tunisia-Saudi Arabia!
Yellow card to all the Nike haters out there. Sure their uniform designs stink and sure the company is sketchy…ok, we can’t defend Nike. Red card to World Cup Blog for even trying.
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Comments
By Dave C. | June 17th, 2006 at 5:12 pm 
“Yellow card to coaches that pick their squads using astrology or who use hypnosis as part of their training regimes. That is so 1974 New Age.”
Well, you’ve obviously not got the faintest idea of what hypnosis is! Hypnotherapy is a legitimate form of therapy used to treat a host of problems related to emotions, problems such as excessive nerves and confidence boosting, exactly the sort of thing that could help a footballer playing in a major match.
Astrology, on the other hand, is nonsense and should be viewed as such.
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