LiveBlog: Germany v. United States March 22

Hey, we’re having a grand old time blogging while the match is being played. Feel free to leave your thoughts, comments and rants….

Full time Final score is 4-1 Germany. The home team dominates the second half and Herr Klinsmann gets a little breathing room. The US will probably move up to 4th in the world rankings after this one. Thanks for stopping by. Check back for more live blogs in the future!

89:45 Cello: “They fell apart. the defenders fell apart. In the second half they just, well, fell apart.”

88:16 Germany still up 4-1. Both teams are getting what they want out of this one. Germany gets a nice scoreline and the US gets to see its third string defenders look bad. Can’t wait to see how they do against Latvia in Hartford.

86:02 Kahn is alive but his face looks even more disturbing than usual. Oh the nightmares I’ll have tonight.

84:26 Oliver Kahn and Eddie Johnson collide. Both players are dead. The US somehow gets a goal out of this. They’ve found a way to score on Kahn: execution! 4-1 Germany

82:57 US soccer fans are having flashbacks to the years 1950-90.

81:24 Substitutions coming on for Germany. If you wear a white Adidas uniform you get a free ticket to the game and the opportunity to get your very own goal.

80:00 This gives a new meaning to the term Blitzkrieg.

78:21 Ballack heads one home to make it 4-0. Germany is now the favorite to win the World Cup.

77:28 US starting to feel like Germany did against Italy earlier this month. Fire Bruce Arena!

76:14 Heath Pearce on for Corey Gibbs. Is there a mercy rule? Can the US add a 12th player to even things out?

74:18 Klose makes it 3-0. Klinsmann gets a kiss. His job is saved by a poor US defense.

72:15Goal Germany. 2-0. Rocket shot by Nueville. Bad mistake by US defender Jimmy Conrad.

71:18 Note to self: next time you live blog drink beer instead of Jack Daniels.

70:00 Germany still ahead 1-0. Cries of Deutchland fill the stadium. US concedes another free kick close in.

67:13 Kahn earning his 84th cap. Keller has 90. Meola has 99. Arena has 1.

65:12 Incredible save by Kahn off Johnson header. Oliver is still an ugly bastard.

64:15 Did Chris Klein ever appear in an episode of Beverly Hills 9o210?

63:02 Is this game really preparing the US for the World Cup? The way Germany is playing I’d say Italy, Czech Republic and Ghana might be better.

61:18 Bearhalter body slams Asahmoah and there is no call. For a split second I was almost aroused watching that.

60:00 Still 1-0 in favor of Germany. If the score stands this way do you think this takes the heat off of Klinsmann? I don’t think so.

59:26 Twellman on for Ching. US misses McBride.

57:15 Check out how the head referee runs. Looks a bit like that penquin mascot Germany unveiled a few days ago.

56:08 Convey making a case for being in the US starting XI. His pace alone makes hom a threat. Needs to work on the set pieces though.

53:59 German backline looking more organized. Maybe they brought back the 1990 team at halftime.

52:03 Cello thinks Germany and Ecuador are coming out of Group A. That sound you just heard was our Ecuador blogger Trent screaming for joy.

50:45 Kahn with an easy save off of the Convey free kick. Even Lehman would have saved that one.

48:15 Podolski might be finding his way to the bench this summer if Schweinsteiger keeps playing this way. He has brought life to a German team that looked dead on its feet.

46:56 What the hell were the US defenders doing on that goal? They looked like they were diving to avoid a German grenade.

45:41 Klose scores off a set piece. The gods might be smiling once again on Duetschland. Keller totally misplayed that one. He is a better keeper than that. 1-0 Germany

45:01 Second half is underway. Germany has 45 minutes to prove it isn’t completely worthless. Have you ever seen a Germany team this disorganized and this incapable of stringing together passes. Schweinstager on for Germany. Hard to believe that the US “b” team is still in this one.

Halftime 0-0. German team leaves the pitch to a cascade of whistles. Not a bad first half in terms of action but neither team looks like a world beater. I’m off to get some more Jack Daniels. Will start back up when the second half kicks off. Keep the comments coming. This live blogging is kind of fun.

45:00 Snyder is playing like a donkey for Germany.

44:10 US giving up a lot of free kicks close in. Lucky that Ballack just can’t keep himself onside.

42:33 Convey causing problems with his speed. When you get past the age of 20 shouldn’t use stop calling yourself “Bobby” though?

41:23 Klose had a hat trick against Saudi Arabia in 2002 in the 8-0 ass whipping. Germany hasn’t scored eight goals collectively since.

39:43 Good free kick opportunity for Germany but Ballack is offside. I expect Germany to attack the final five minutes of the half…if they can string together a pass or two.

38:33 Shot of Klinsmann looking constipated. With all that travel back and forth between California and Germany it must be hard to keep regular.

37:15 Those stripes on the back collars of the US kits really bother me. Not sure why. Germany’s kits are nice but their red ones are better.

35:31 Germany started to make a number of bad passes. This team is clearly not the machine of years gone by. Not sure if it is youth or whether Germany just isn’t as talented. Ballack is still a stud but not many players on this German team strike fear in the opposition.

33:14 Snyder with a pass that wouldn’t work in my men’s league. A few whistles from the crowd that no longer is providing a World Cup atmosphere.

32:16 Germany’s wide midfielders can’t keep up with Johnson’s speed. I think if Beasely was playing in this game he would be dominating. Props to Gibbs for looking good thus far.

31:40 The US midfield never looks as good when Claudia Reyna isn’t playing. I can’t remember the last time he played though. Probably back when Germany was still a good team.

26:05 Klinssman does kind of look like a blonde George W. Bush minus the sneer.

23:17 Conrad shanks a shot from close in. Neither team looks remotely organized on defense. Amazed that it is still 0-0. Can we fire Klinsmann yet?

21:50 Other than his assinine comments about the atmosphere, Glenn Davis seems to be calling a decent game. What do you think of him?

19:56 Wolff has a concusion. He and John O’Brien are battling out for most injuries per matches played.

19:03 Klinsmann sighting. He looks cold. Dortmund is not like California in March

17:47 Are we watching a German game? This thing is completely wide open and up and down the pitch. Klinsmann is doing the unthinkable. He is making Germany fun to watch.

16:33 Chris Klein in for Josh Wolff. Who would ever have thought Wolff would get injured? Never happens. Wolff has no heart.

15:12 Glenn Davis says US has risen to the occassion. Does that mean they haven’t been outplayed the whole time and have given up tons of scoring opportunities.

12:46 Ballack misses another close in header. This German team might just be cursed for its cheap victory over the US in 2002. On the other end, Gibbs shot is stopped by Josh Wolff. Shouldn’t Wolff be on the bench with an injury?

11:21 Ballack eats the US defense like a German sausage. Finds Klose who delivers to Podolski who misses a sitter from close in. Germany is going to score if it gets that type of forward play.

9:02 Ching with a solid shot but you can’t beat RoboCop with something like that. Ching by the way is from Hawaii. Wish I were there right now. it is 2 degrees in this basement. More Jack Daniels needed pronto

8:44 25th mention of “world cup atmosphere.”

7:27 Pablo down for the US. He really needs to grow his hair back out. Helps protect from head injuries.

5:58 Klose is having his way with the US defense. Keller might be the busiest person in Germany tonight other than the pimps who are getting their hookers ready for the World Cup onslaught this summer.

4:30 Asamoah is the first African of color to play for Germany. Good to see Ghana represent on the German national team.

2:15 Ballack misses the header on a corner. And suddenly we see that Eddie Johnson is like Carl Lewis fast.

1:00 Germany comes out with the attack. Ballack is one good looking guy. Almost makes up for the horror that is Oliver Kahn’s face.

Kickoff We’re underway in Dortmund. Third mention already of “world cup type atmosphere”

Lineups Germany goes with three up front and Oliver Kahn in net. Little known fact, none of their top strikers were born in Germany. Gerald Asamoah (Ghana), Kevin Kuranyi (Brazil), Miroslav Klose (Poland) and Lucas Poldoski (Poland)

Waiting for lineups Glenn Davis career stats with Astros…and now he is doing an ESPN soccer game!
http://www.baseball-reference.com/d/davisgl01.shtml

Pre-game Keller owns a castle and he wears stylish glasses. Quality tifo being displayed in the stands. HOLY CRAP a guy named Glenn Davis is doing the play-by-play. Wasn’t he a player with the Astros many years ago? Has ESPN sent Dave O’Brien to that never never land known as Jack Edwards….Balboa is wearing a pink shirt. This is truly going to be an epic event.

Still waiting: The Bruce has announced his starting eleven and you have to say that this is far from being a group that will strike fear into the hearts of even a 22-ranked team….Kasey Keller, Jimmy Conrad, Gregg Berhalter, Cory Gibbs, Steve Cherundolo, Kerry Zavagnin, Pablo Mastroeni, Josh Wolff, Bobby Convey, Brian Ching, Eddie Johnson…nice to see Gibbs back into the fold. I’ve always been amazed by the talent of the Bee Gees.

Minutes before kick off - I am locked in the World Cup Blog global headquarters basement with my hands firmly tied to the keyboard and a bottle of Jack Daniels to help me overcome the pain of having to listen to the ESPN announcing crew of Dave O’Brien and “Cello” Balboa. Can’t wait for O’Brien to deliver a 90-minute weather report from Dortmund….The least he can do is let Klinsmann know if the surf is up in California today….As for the game, expect Germany to attack early so that it can fool the 70,000 fans in attendance into believing it isn’t a rotten team….I wonder if we’ll get to see any shots of Heidi Klum. Gaaah…I can’t take any more of this NBA show with Ahmad Rashad. Shouldn’t he be out on the golf course kissing Michael Jordan’s ass?

For those who want to watch the game on the computer go here: http://planet.nana.co.il/livefooty/index.html