LiveBlog: England-Paraguay

England comes away with a 1-0 win against Paraguay. See the blow-by-blow account below and feel free to leave your comments about the match.

Full time England comes away with a 1-0 win thanks to an own goal off of a Beckham free kick in the 3rd minute. Not the most exciting of games, but a win nevertheless for the Group B favorites. Paraguay will have its work cut out to advance in this tournament.

90:00 There is added time. Two minutes even. I think we can survive another two minutes of this, can’t we?

89:14 Paraguay coach Anibal Ruiz imploring his team to get its head out of its ass. Might be a bit too late for that coach. Still 1-0 England.

88:01 Lampard with a blast outside the box that is knocked away for a corner kick. Beckham lines up to take it. His shoes are so very blue. Gerrard feeds it back into the box but nothing comes of it. Yawn.

86:27 For those who placed a bet on seeing Crouch do the robot dance this game, I think you are going to lose. I think you may want to reconsider your investment strategies too. Buy mutual funds instead.

85:15 5 more minutes to go and the score is still 1-0. Paraguay just hasn’t been able to come up with any kind of attack. England out to kill the game. I expected this from the opening match last night not this one today. Oh well, two more games today. Both should be entertaining.

84:00 God Save the Queen being sung by the England faithful. God save us all from more games like this.

81;53 Hargreaves in for Cole for England. Did you know that Owen Hargreaves was born in Canada, plays in Germany and represents England at the World Cup? True story. Look it up on the Internet.

81:24 Nunez in for Toledo for Paraguay. Will it make any difference?

80:00 Ten minutes left. Anyone still awake?

78:15 Joe Cole is down on the turf landing on his arm. He gets a little water and love from the training staff and appears to be fine. Wish I had a training staff for my fingers. They are sore from all this typing. 61 games to go! Must pace myself.

76:24 Valdez with a very strange volley that lands somewhere between Frankfurt and Dortmund. Speaking of Dortmund, you’ll want to tune in for our liveblog for the next game between Sweden and T&T which is being played there. If I am not passed out I will probably do that game as well, but my mate Chris is standing by just in case.

75:02 Which team has looked least impressive thus far? Costa Rica, Poland or Paraguay? I’d have to say Paraguay at this point.

72:15 Lampard with a blast straight on and a great save from the Paraguay keeper. Still 1-0 England. Corner kick from Beckham and once again we are forced to see Crouch’s awkwardness.

71:50 Hey kids, your comments are great. Keep them coming. I’ll look into whether or not Peter Crouch’s head is, in fact, from Easter Island.

69:57 Between Beckham’s blue boots and that incredibly round Teamgeist ball there are a lot of distractions watching this game. Anyone know why the heck they have a giant video screen over the middle of the pitch in Frankfurt? almost like and American football stadium.

68:39 Cuevas comes on and dances around like he has ants in his pants. Maybe he will bring some life to this game. England lead 1-0 and seem content to keep it that way. A goal by Paraguay would change the action completely.

67:23 Paraguay sub. Cuevas in for Bonet. Maybe they will start to attack now. A loss does you no good, Paraguay.

66:09 German tv just showed an England supporter with his country’s name tattooed on his back. That’s pretty hardcore. Silly, but hardcore. Maybe I’ll get an Angola tat tomorrow.

63:14 Valdez with a shot on goal. Robinson saves it. His kick hits the big monitor hanging over the field. Now we are starting to see something of interest.

62:14 Peter Crouch shown a yellow card. If they handed out red cards for dorky looking guys he would never be allowed to play. Neither would I. Still 1-0 England.

61:04 Anyone read any good books lately? We still have 30 minutes to go. I’m thinking about liveblogging and reading at the same time just to keep entertained.

59:13 Robinson misplays a cross and PAREDES almost makes England pay. Robinson looked unsteady walking onto the pitch today. He hasn’t been tested and that problem is a good thing for England.

58:02 England playing 9 behind the ball and Paraguay is not helping the matter by dunking passes out of bounds. The score is still 1-0 in favor of England. If you’ve missed the game to this point you’ve missed me drinking two beers and that’s about it.

56:02 England fans chant “Come on England” but that dies out after 5 seconds. Maybe they put something in the water in Frankfurt. No one has energy there.

55:04 Downing in for Owen for England. Owen played a poor game. England is going to milk this score.

53:24 England look content to come away with a 1-0 win. Paraguay’s attack looks feebile. Maybe a few subs could bring some pace to this game…

51:45 On cue they show Rooney on the bench. He is sweating like a pig. Have England’s players ever been in the sun before?

50:24 Beckham finds Owen but Lil Mick doesn’t do anything with it. Owen hasn’t looked good the past few months coming off his injury. If I supported England I’d almost be more concerned with him than with Rooney.

48:47 Corner kick for Paraguay. Headeed away by the Robot man. Who would win in a steel cage match? Crouch or Schweinsteiger?

47:48 Good thing it isn’t raining. It the oil in the ref’s hair ran off into the ground we’d be facing an ecological disaster.

46:15 Paraguay starts the half out with a bit of an attack. The England defense doesn’t look like it is going to bend. I switched over to a dark Hefeweizen for the second half. For those who have never been to germany the beer alone is reason to make it here.

45:02 WAKE UP. Second half is underway. Hopefully we’ll see more action from both sides.

Halftime The first half got off with a bang with England scoring on a Beckham free kick that was sent into goal by Paraguay’s Gamarra in the 3rd minute. After that the game crashed to a thud. Halftime score is England 1-0. I’m off to get another beer and will start up right before the start of the second half. What are your thoughts on what we have seen? Impressed by England? How about Paraguay?

45:00 Nelson Valdez with a shot just off the mark for Paraguay. So much for my last comment.

45:00 Four minutes added time to watch neither side do a damn thing.

42:52 Beckham with a shot that goes just wide. Prince William and der Kaiser are smiling. They aren’t sweating. Does royalty ever sweat or are they genetically immune from that?

41:57 England able to create opportunities but not especially sharpe in the final third of the field. I’m sure Wayne Rooney will solve that problem. Or not.

40:05 England player sucking down water and appear to be affected by the heat. I am in Germany and even though I am typing 798 words a minute I don’t think it is especially hot.

38:50 Say what you want about Beckham but every time he lines up for a set play the excitement mounts. He can swing a ball in like few others. Almost makes up for everything else deficient in his game.

38:04 England leads possession 58-42 and most importantly leads in players who are 6′7″. 1-0 on the scoreboard.

36:45 Free kick for Paraguay just outside the box from the right side. Cleared away by England. Paraguay has not shown much in this game. I was kind of expecting more from them.

35:17 Crouch being mugged in the box by 75 guys from Paraguay on a pair of crosses. Hard to score when you have a defender sticking a hand in your ass.

33:49 Rio Ferdinand sighting. That wasn’t necessary. I wish they had a v-chip in the television that would prevent me from seeing Rio and Oliver Kahn. Oh yeah, still 1-0 England.

32:15 Someone needs to activate the Teamgeist balls so that we start seeing some more goals. I think I got spoiled with yesterday’s games.

30:47 Gerrard sails it over the crossbar. Joe Cole is on the ground after getting tripped up. The referee stepped on his hand. Cole walks off without having to be amputated.

29:02 Owen crosses it to Crouch who does a bit of a non robot dance in the corner to earn the corner for England. Becks takes it. Wow his shoes are blue. Cleared away by the Paraguay defense.

27:15 This game has really settled into a bit of a snoozer. Paraguay brings it into the box but are dispossessed. Paul Robinson still looks nervous in net for England. 1-0 England.

26:00 Storyline thus far: England gets an early goal thanks to an own goal by Paraguay’s captain. The shadows on the field are trippy. The ref uses way too much hair gel. I need another beer.

24:43 Paraguay has weathered the initial storm, but they are being dominated in the midfield. Maybe if they just kick more shins they’ll come back to win this one.

23:00 Anyone ever been to Paraguay? I hear it is much nicer than Uruguay. Joe Cole is definitely from Brazil. Pele is right.

21:19 Beckham knocked on his backside. Yellow given to Paraguay. We’re still at 1-0. Crouch almost snaps his head off on a header.

20:00 I’d like to mention I went 20 minutes without typing “metatarsal”. Thank you.

18:13 Stephen Gerrard booked. Didn’t look like a yellow worthy tackly to me. What the hell is up with this ref’s hair. Talk about a helmet.

17:23 Parades with a shot wide for Paraguay. I take back all the compliments I gave Paraguay regarding hair. That guy is ugly. Robinson tested again on a shot but smothers it.

16:06 The German commentator is calling every Paraguay player Acuna. Either he is having one hell of a game or this guy knows Paraguay less than I do. That is saying something.

14:40 Peter Crouch reminds me of a giant wind sock. End of my Crouch comments for now.

13:30 England looks two steps quicker and like they know how to play the game. Paraguay looks scared and tenative. Paraguay needs to settle down or this one could turn ugly fast.

12:11 Paraguay coach Anibal Ruiz looks a bit like Yoda. Meanwhile Prince William is sitting next to Franz Beckenbauer. No shots of Posh Spice yet.

11:40 England awarded an indirect kick from inside the box. Wow that ref uses alot of hair cream. Beckham lines up over the ball. The backup keeper is crapping his pants. Lampard kicks it away harmlessly.

9:34 Gerrard skies one over the crossbar. Tough position for a backup keeper to come into. Playing a goal down and with your defense sucking arse. Owen unable to finish too.

8:17 Bobadilla gets tested right away. England in complete control of the game. Has Paraguay even touched the ball? 1-0 England

7:33 The magic spray didn’t work as Paraguay has to replace its keeper. Off limps Villar. He is crying. Poor guy’s World Cup start not exactly how he imagined. BOBADILLA takes his place.

5:16 The Paraguay keeper is down but a little magic spray on the leg should make him as good as new. Still kind of stunned that England scored so early. Really brings a thud down on the game. Will Paraguay be able to bounce back?

4:47 What a dreadful way for Paraguay to start. Their captain has been awesome the past two World Cups and here he has an own goal to put his team in a hole.

2:42 GOALLLL!!! Beckham takes the free kick from far out and it is hit in by the Paraguay captain Gammara. 1-0 England.

2:28 Even if you are watching on a small tv without a clear picture you can pick out Peter Crouch. has there ever been anyone who looks less like a football player?

0:12 Ok, somebody close the curtains. The shadows on this pitch are terrible. Reminds me of the final in Mexico in 1986,

Kickoff We’re underway in day 2 of the 2006 World Cup. A beautiful day in Frankfurt as the ‘66 champs face a tough South American team. Hope you are enjoying this as much as I am.

Pregame: For those looking for video streams of the games check here. It may or may not work for you. Good luck.

3 minute coundown: Paraguay anthem. Kind of a sad tune but I am fired up. Too bad they are wearing their blue kits and not the candy cane.

4 minute countdown: God Save the Queen. Great time for me to crack open a Hefeweizen. Hope all of you are safe and comfortable wherever you are watching this game.

5 minute countdown: The flags are out on the field and here come the players to a rapturous roar. Paul Robinson looks like he is going to shite his pants. Nervous man he is.

7 minue countdown: England to play a 4-4-2. Paraguay a 4-2-2-2 or something like that.

1o minute countdown: Say what you want about Beckham’s locks, but I think Paraguay has the edge in the battle of the hair in this one. Lots of long, flowing hair which really compliments those candy cane uniforms.

15 minute countdown: German television showing a feature on Paraguay’s Roque Santa Cruz. The dude has scored some seriously pretty goals. He has been struggling with injuries so it will be interesting to see how effective he can be this World Cup. Always worth keeping in mind that Paraguay has advanced past the first round the past two World Cup competitions. They face a tough challenge in this group.

20 minute countdown: The stadium in Frankfurt is awash in England flags. There is a small pocket of Paraguay fans in attendance but this will clearly be a pro-England crowd today.

25 minute countdown: The German pregame coverage is breaking down Peter Crouch’s robot dance. Does anyone think we’ll see it today? Will any of you do the robot if he scores?

30 minute countdown: The pictures out of Frankfurt are awesome as tens of thousand of England fans have decended on the city and a large party has broken out along the riverfront. It is a glorious summer day, perfect for a full slate of World Cup football. Kickoff is 15:00 CET.

An exciting game is ahead. Care to share your predictions?