Germans Should Embrace their New Slacker Image

Have you heard that German officials are sniffling because their country’s vaunted image has taken a hit amid allegations that their World Cup stadiums are not safe?

Welcome to the planet earth, Germany.

Here you will find that things sometimes go awry and the adjective “efficient” does not need to be included in every sentence.

It is a place where stadiums may not always be properly built and where watchdog groups exist to expose things that might harm innocent people. In our world, statements such as the one made by the German Football Federation president Theo Zwanziger to the Associate Press Wednesday sound like little more than a big whine.

“We don’t have problems with criticism, but only when it’s justified. Stiftung Warentest didn’t think about the impact of their research. Outside of Germany, things look really bad. The alleged security deficits in the World Cup stadiums was commented on critically and to the detriment of Germany – especially in England, the Netherlands and Switzerland.”

Yes, in our world others take delight in your shortcomings because they know that you will take delight in theirs. The slacker is not always the hero in our world, but he is rarely the villain. Our police sometimes look scruffy and opening galas exist for no other reason than to be canceled. We are ok with that.

It is good having you as part of our world, fair Germany. We look forward to invading your land in June knowing that efficient is nothing more than code word for slacker and that you are now officially one of us.

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