Dear World Cup Blog Readers,
The editors of this publication would like to formally apologize for letting you down. By now, you know that we are the most trusted name in sports and that we deliver news that is both fair and unbalanced. You know that our award-winning cadre of bloggers spends day and night seeking out the stories that are important to you and important to the advancement of world peace. It is with great regret that we must confess that we missed a story last month that is perhaps the biggest news story to come out of England since the Beatles.
No, we’re not talking Svengate. We’ve been all over that one like flies on manure. Nor are we talking about the meltdown on Sol Campbell or even the possibility of Posh Spice sans clothes in Germany this summer. The story we missed is much bigger than anything that has ever appeared on this or any other website.
We learned today that last month David Beckham revealed that:
HE DOES NOT WEAR THE SAME PAIR OF UNDERPANTS TWICE!!!!!!!!!!
How could a Pulitzer Prize hopeful like World Cup Blog have missed this one? We’d like to blame it on the interns, but we don’t have any and even if we did they would be out fetching us coffee. We’d like to blame it on the copy editor but clearly we didnotdon’t have one of those either. We could use the excuse that our computers were down that day and we didn’t have access to the news. But that would be a lie and might piss off our tech people so that they actually do crash our Commodore 64s.
So instead we will blame the one person whose responsibility it is to promote the Beautiful Game and to highlight stories that include the words “David Beckham” and “underwear.”
We blame FIFA.
They are responsible for all that is wrong in this world and you can be assured, fair readers, that our legion of lawyers will be asking FIFA some very tough questions about their cover-up of the Beckham underwear story.
On behalf of the hundreds of employees who are spread across the globe working their butts off to make World Cup Blog your source for all of life’s answers, we thank you for your patronage and understanding.
Kisses and hugs,
The Editorial Team
xxoo
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