China Needs some World Cup Air

Here in Germany you can buy just about any product that has a World Cup tie-in. From toothbrushes to underwear to jugs of Nutella, there are World Cup-related products everywhere. One thing that isn’t for sale, however, is the air. There is no shortage of the stuff around and there really isn’t much of a market for the stuff, except perhaps in China.

A company in China is planning on selling World Cup air. The company claims to have gathered air from the various World Cup stadia in Germany and will sell it in plastic bags that are 3 centimetres by 9 centimetres in size. For the mere price of $6.25 per bag, you will be able to breathe the same pollution as the players.

Getting enough air to your brain is an important component of life and is something that some in China desperately need. Take the man who didn’t let the small matter of his house burning down disrupt his viewing the World Cup. There’s also the man in Beijing who refused to press charges after a thief stole his cell phone because he didn’t want to miss the start of a match.

Finally, there is the Chinese television commentator Huang Jianxiang who was desperately in need of oxygen after Italy beat Australia.

“Italy is victorious! Long live Italy! … Great Italy!” Huang shrieked during the match broadcast by state-run China Central Television early Tuesday morning as Italy won the game on a dramatic penalty kick. “I don’t like the Australian team,” he shouted, adding with glee that it “should go home.”

Mr. Huang has apologized for his lack of diplomacy. No word yet if he has purchased any official World Cup air, but he does have a fan club.

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