Blatter Apologizes to Italy for being a Coward

FIFA czar Sepp Blatter apologized today for not being part of the World Cup trophy presentation after Italy’s win in the final in Berlin. Blatter didn’t show up for the trophy ceremony leading some to speculate that he was pissed at the Italians for the whole Serie A match fixing scandal. Not so, says Herr Sepp. He was simply afraid of being whistled and heckled at by the countless numbers of fans who have the sense enough to realize what a colossal jackass he is.