Beckham Weren’t Teached Very Good

In what can only be described as one of the most shocking revelations since we learned that he doesn’t wear the same pair of underpants twice, David Beckham has admitted that he isn’t very skilled when it comes to arithmetic. The Beautiful One has said that his six-year-old’s homework has left him stymied on a few occasions. “I think it was maths, actually. It’s done totally differently to what I was teached when I was at school, and you know, I was like, ‘Oh my God, I can’t do this’,” he said, proving that grammar isn’t his strong suit either. This confession has shaken the confidence Beckham’s teammates have in their captain.

Wearing the captain’s armband, Beckham has many responsibilities that require complex math skills. For example, when the opposing team lines up for a free kick and England’s keeper calls out for a four-man wall, it is up to Beckham to count up to four to make sure the requisite number of players are in place. World Cup Blog has reviewed film of every game Beckham has ever played in and we have documented numerous instances where Beckham’s counting failures have cost his team victories and even the 2002 World Cup!

Our colleague over at this blog also has found out that Beckham’s math problems have cost Gary Neville big time. Neville is kicking himself for allowing Beckham to be in charge of calculating their gas bills.

There has been no reaction yet from Sven-Goran Eriksson, but we have learned that News of the World is about to publish a further bombshell that Sven has used Beckham as his personal accountant for a number of years and that Rio Ferdinand is taking the same classes as Beckham’s kids.