A Flight Fit for a King

FIFA’s bank account became a little fatter today with the announcement of a $195 million sponsorship deal with Emirates Airline. The 8-year deal covers all FIFA competitions, including the next couple of World Cups. We’re largely indifferent when it comes to stories about the corporate whores with whom FIFA chooses to sleep, except of course for its deal with that piss water known as Budweiser. We don’t like that one. But we did recently stumble upon an interesting little story about Emirates Airline.

The New Yorker magazine points out that when you sign up for the airline’s Skywards frequent-flier program online, you are given a drop down menu with quite a number of interesting honorific titles. A few of the choices, in addition to the standard Mr, Mrs, Ms, Miss, and Dr, are:

Admiral, Air Comm, Air Marshal, Al-Haj (denoting a Muslim who has made a pilgrimage to Mecca), Archbishop, Archdeacon, Baron, Baroness, Colonel, Commander, Corporal, Count, Countess, Dame, Deacon, Deaconess, Deshamanya (a title conferred on eminent Sri Lankans), Dowager (for a British widow whose social status derives from that of her late husband, properly used in combination with a second honorific, such as Duchess), Duchess, Duke, Earl, Father, Frau, General, Governor, HRH, Hon, Hon Lady, Hon Professor, JP (justice of the peace?), Judge, Khun (the Thai all-purpose honorific, used for both men and women), L Cpl, Lt, Lt Cmdr, Lt Col, Lt Gen, Midshipman, Mlle, Monsieur, Monsignor, Mother, Pastor, Petty Officer, Professor, Senor, Senora, Senorita, Sgt, Sgt Mjr, Shaikha (for a female shaikh, or sheikh), Sheikh, Shriman (an Indian honorific, for one blessed by Lakshmi, the Hindu goddess of wealth, wisdom, luck, and other good things), Sister, Sqdn Ldr, Sqn Ldr, Sub Lt, Sultan, Swami, The Countess, The Dowager, The Duchess, The Marquis, The Matron, The Rev Canon, the Reverend, The Rt Hon, The Ven, The Very Revd, Ven, Ven Dr, Very Revd, Vice Admiral, Viscount, and Viscountess.

None of those titles are what we would choose to call FIFA President Sepp Blatter, but with all the predictions we make on this blog we are happy that we have the option of calling ourselves Swami.

By the way, Emirates Airlines is offering package deals for this year’s World Cup for those of you with FIFA-sized bank accounts.