20 Million Germans are Crazy

May 30th, 2006 | by: WC Bob | View Comments

Who are these people? A recent survey revealed that 25% of Germans are not interested in the World Cup. You may not think this is a lot, but according to the CIA (I’ve always wanted to write that) there are 82 million people in Germany. That means that if the survey is accurate, more than 20 million people could care less about the little fiesta that is taking place in their country this summer. Blasphemy.

So what are these insane people going to do while the rest of the world descends upon their land? They all can’t go to Switzerland. There aren’t enough Swiss men to go around.

The survey also showed that 54 percent of Germans say they will watch the World Cup, which means nearly 40 million people will not tune in. Don’t these people know that summer television programming is abysmal? The movies suck this summer. I’ve seen Mission Impossible 3. Save your money and stay home to watch Saudi Arabia-Tunisia!

To be fair to the fine people of Germany, there are plenty of other people who are insane. Of the 6 billion or so people who inhabit this planet, only 1 billion or so will tune in the for final. Thank goodness I will be one of them.