Want to Play for Nigeria? Then Cut Your Hair Hippie!

July 29th, 2008 | by: Daryl |

That’s right, Nigeria Olympic coach Samson Siasia has put his squad on notice, warning them that he expects the players to have sensible haircuts and clothing for Beijing next month.

According to the AFP story:

“Siasia, known as a stickler for discipline, believes that his players are devoting too much time to their elaborate hairstyles, time which he believes could be better used in fine-tuning their performances.

And the coach goes as far as to claim that players with short hair are more aerodynamic and so find it easier to find their rhythm on the pitch.”

From this, we can deduce five things:

1) Taribo West (pictured) would not have made Siasia’s Olympic team. Legendary defender that he was, West had arguably the worst hair I’ve ever seen on a footballer.

2) Young David Beckham and his multiple haircuts would definitely not have made Siasia’s team.

3) Old David Beckham (the current one) would be fine. These days he rocks nothing but the shaved head. Boring yes, but more aerodynamic that the old mohawk.

4) Samson Siasia doesn’t like irony. A man named Samson telling his players to cut their hair? Come on.

5) The Nigerian men’s team might think they’ve got it rough, but they’re better off than their female counterparts. The Nigerian women’s team all had to take pregnancy tests to be part of the squad.

Breadcrumbs: Haircut story spotted on With Leather via The Spoiler*

* click that link to see an excellent flip flop + glue prank