Abstinencewatch™: No World Cup Sex for Costa Rica

April 27th, 2006 | by: WC Bob |

Add another team to the “unhappy” column today now that it has been revealed that Costa Rica’s players will be required to remain abstinent at the World Cup in Germany. Putting on his best face and ignoring reality, the Ticos goalkeeper Jose Francisco Porras said, “We are professionals and we know that this is part of the sacrifice we have to make. At the World Cup we have to abstain.” Our Abstinencewatch™ staff is professionals and we know that part of our sacrifice is to not abstain from proving players wrong. Therefore, it is incumbent upon us to tell Porras and his Costa Rica teammates that there is another way.

The Central American team just needs to look a little south to a country called Brazil. The five-time World Cup champions are free to frolic with their significant others in Germany. Ever wonder why Ronaldinho is always smiling?

Unlike Costa Rica, Brazil actually has a shot of winning the tournament. Costa Rica would be wise to reverse its course now if it harbors any dreams of advancing from Group A.

Here is the latest Abstinencewatch™ scorecard:

Happy

Brazil

Unhappy

Costa Rica
Ecuador
England

Know the World Cup sex status of your team? Shoot an email to the Chief Abstainer, bob [at] worldcupblog.org

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http://www.worldcupblog.org/world-cup-2006/big-question-which-current-coach-was-the-best-player.html#comments Pedro P

Man, this is soooooooooo bullsh#t! If anything, others should follow the champions lead…

Anyway, the surname of the guy (Jose Franscisco PORRAS) would be kind of a joke name in portuguese, Bob… With even different meanings in Brazil and in Portugal… :-) Just ask Euler what I’m talking about…
soze

what does it mean in Brazil?
http://www.worldcupblog.com Bob

Hmm. I believe Porras means “clubs” in Spanish, but what could it possible mean in Brazil :-)
eduardo

As a matter in fact “Porras” is a common last name in Costa Rica.
http://www.worldcupblog.org/general-banter/abstinencewatche284a2-i-will-always-remember-the-ache-down-below.html Abstinencewatch™: “I will always remember the ache down below” – FIFA World Cup 2006 – World Cup 2006 Blog

[...] Players in Costa Rica are squirming right now, while future England national team players are frantically calling the FA asking them to reconsider their coaching decision. [...]
http://www.worldcupblog.org/world-cup-2006/two-days-to-go-world-cup-whirl-about.html Two Days to Go: World Cup Whirl About – FIFA World Cup 2006 – World Cup 2006 Blog

[...] Will Germany experience a similar fate? Hard to say since their opponent Costa Rica has been in very poor form and is slightly distracted bythe appearance of supermodels at their training camp. Poor buggers are also not allowed to have sex during their stay in Germany so seeing a former Miss Universe has got to put the ache down below. [...]