Taking World Cup Trauma to the Bank

I admit that I have terrible luck when it comes to supporting teams. If I am not backing absolute underdogs like Angola this year, then I am usually supporting talented teams that end up playing like dogs. Until today, however, I had no idea that the pain, suffering and trauma these teams cause me could actually help to make me rich. You see, a football fan in England has insured himself for £1 million against the trauma of seeing England knocked out of the early stages of World Cup.

Paul Hucker (a name dangerously similar to Huckster) has shelled out £100 for the World Cup All Risks policy from an insurance broker that obviously hasn’t heard that Wayne Rooney is toast.

Said Hucker: “The pressure of this World Cup is not just on the players and the managers. I think a lot of supporters are under a lot of pressure and suffer because of England’s performance.

“I feel very patriotic and very optimistic. To have psychological trauma and depression is something I don’t want.”

I’m sure we can all relate to Mr. Hucker’s feelings, but don’t you think he might be better served finding a new hobby or at the very least a new country to support?

I hear gardening is quite relaxing. Yoga is a nice activity. Brazil wins most World Cups and their fans always are smiling. Mushroom picking in the summer is quite lovely. Supporting American Samoa is not very stressful, they always lose. Counting £1 million might take one’s mind off of failure…..

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