If you’re going to streak, bring your wallet

Damn, this ruins my plans for the World Cup. In a ruling that is sending shockwaves throughout the homes of exhibitionists everywhere, a German court today ruled that stadium operators can claim damages from streakers at matches. The ruling comes out of a case brought up by a second-division German club team after it was fined by the German Football Federation when three streakers showed their stuff during a match. The defense argued that it is the responsibility of the stadium operators to prevent naked people from running onto the pitch. Judge Hans-Georg Eckert disagreed.

“If you are caught stealing, you can’t argue that the shop owner should have better protected his goods,” Eckert said, electing to use the term “goods” in his analogy instead of “jewels.”

So what does this mean for those of you who are planning on disrobing at the World Cup?

“The ruling is a signal to the World Cup organizing committee,” organizing committee spokesman Jens Grittner said. “If we are fined by FIFA because of streakers, we’ll take the judicial way.”

While the streakers will be the ones to pay, the real losers in this case are us fans. Nothing is more exciting than watching an obese sweaty gentleman with a bare ass being chased by obese sweaty security guards intent on pounding the snot out of the naked dude. This type of action might be the only way any of us stay awake during that Tunisia – Saudi Arabia match.