England Players Need a Little Less Sleaze in Their Schedule

For all the talk about tactics, injuries, blundering goakeepers, foreigners and plastic pitches, the one thing England players definitely need to work on is how they spend their free time. Roy Keane said as much when he labeled certain England players “big heads who are side-tracked by stuff away from football. We all know which players we’re talking about, we all know their lifestyles.” There’s a place for Sunday tabloid the News of the World, and that place is usually the bin, but their two recent scandal expose type thingies about what England players get up to off the pitch sheds light on the type of people wearing the Three Lions these days.

Recently we had the story that several England players were involved in a sleazy £50,000 party at a lapdancing club in late October, where an unnamed England player did the deed with a stripper and England captain John Terry overcame his knee injury to dance on stage with another stripper before getting so drunk he made a puddle on the floor and another unnamed player begged two more strippers for a threesome. Classy.

Now Ashley Young has plumbed new depths by indulging in a spot of online onanism, logging on to an internet dating/chat site and pleasuring himself live on his webcam. Here’s a dirty, asterix filled excerpt, as relayed to the NoTW by Sarah Taylor, who witnessed the naked England winger swinging his tackle about online:

As he groped himself 22-year-old Aston Villa star Young said: “I’d love to lick ur ****** making them nice and ****…yeh babe, teasing ur ****.”

Ignoring all the rules on handling, he went to huge lengths to show himself off and feverishly bashed out saucy demands like: “I wanna have my **** between ur **** and u ****ing the top of my ****.”

Pretty Sarah, 21, told us: “I was shocked. I’d gone on for some flirty chat but what I got was a randy sex addict.”

OK then. The worst thing about this is that this was apparently the night before England’s defeat in Russia, the one which made qualification an uphill battle. Now I’m not saying what Young did or even what Terry et al did has a direct impact on results. England didn’t lose just because Ashley Young did things to himself on-line or because Terry got so drunk he urinated on the floor in a strip club. But it does illustrate Roy Keane’s claims about egos and lifestyles very graphically. Maybe a little too graphically in the case of Ashley Young, because now I can’t look at him without laughing.

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